I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
