david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
