I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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