I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Shame - the story of my life.
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