honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
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