Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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