For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
