The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You may now shotgun with the bride
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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