there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dicks are not precious.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
