Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
