and she was petting her beer can
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
