direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish i was in the wii world.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
