The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
