Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
