Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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