Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
