Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
