Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
