Got a toothbrush?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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