OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
