If that was your dad, he is hot
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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