I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
