I want to have your abortion
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
