I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
