Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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