u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
