There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
