Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
