would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
