I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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