Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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