He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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