if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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