bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
