"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
