Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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