Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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