i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
