Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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