so explain again why im purple
no
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
