i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
