I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
