I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
