airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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