i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
