I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
