Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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