I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
