I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
