She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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