can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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