what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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