i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
