The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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