Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
smell my finger.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
