u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My breasts were aching with rage.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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