1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
